Writer: Melaine Cabrera

I pretend to be someone i’m not. Late at night when the moon is silent and the stars mingle I see the soft blue hue of my phone; The girls on the screen are all neatly stacked into miniature squares, smaller than any person I’ve ever seen; I trace their shape with my eyes they have everything I want; When I look at myself through the phone lens and the filter is off all I see is a spotlight, a harsh white stage light and I forgot to do my stage makeup, everyone can see everything wrong with me; I’m a clown, I look like one my body looks warped like a carnival mirror and i’m a traveling circus; Only a clown would look like me, my gut unsucked, the deep lines of my face unblurred, the curls on my head being anything but blond and straight, I feel this pressure to do better, to be better; My world seems to crash right in front of my face, I can feel the tears begin to drip down my face; I can’t seem to realize that life isn’t online and i’m not defined by my looks; I’m not looking at a carnival mirror, their is no stage light in sight, and their is only one thing I can do; Be me; I put the phone down and I breathe; One day I’ll see I’m so much more.